“What’s wrong?” As he was driving, he looked at me a few times quickly in between seconds. “Why are you crying?” Pointing upwards from my chest to my throat, I managed only to usher with a snotty, broken voice: “Too much.” That was when I burst into tears of sheer happiness, spontaneous, overpowering, bubbling emotion. It happened driving behind my mother’s moving van from Santiago to Limache. We took a longer, but toll-less road (Still hate the TAG system). The punching beauty of that road, the extreme Chilean-ness of it: driving in the sun, with the sunroof open in between rolling green hills, the snowcapped Andes mountain range on the back of it all, like the spine of a huge, gentle sleeping dragon. The vast deep blue skies, the huasos on their horses working the fields and vineyards, the flowers, interchanging with fluffy palmtrees and proud cactusses, rolling roads up and down, opening views into even more majestic scenes. My heart had an orgasm and tears came out of my eyes.
As I write this, sitting in Viña del Mar, in front of the beach, to the tunes of “I AM TITAANIUM” blasting from the beach bar’s radio, I must confess we still haven’t gone South, where the heart wants to make a home. My soul is getting restless, but we had to wait 3 days, which turned out to be 6, for our car. In our last visit to Chile, the sun roof was rattling, maybe one bump on the road too much. So we took it in for maintenance in Viña Del Mar and have kept ourselves busy. We have the car now, here she is looking happy in Viña.
“Why are you crying now?” A few days later, when we picked up the car. He stopped driving this time. “Idiots! What have they done to Chileeeeeeee.” This was in Valparaiso. My birth city, a fabulous city, but it’s dirty and worn-out. They say it’s corruption, I say it’s selfishness too. It’s every person for themselves, so most don’t give a f*ck. Grafitti (the artless kind, names or ‘I love you’s’ on every wall), piss smells, dirt and way too many crazy, stinky micro busses. Also, I was frustrated, because the car maintenance people in Viña kept us waiting for too long. With lame excuses, they gave us the car back with a few extra scratches here and there. Then, when we left to walk a bit in Valparaiso, we left our car in an expensive closed parking site and the parking staff warned us for car thieves (I mean we are paying you to keep it safe in the parking, WTF?). We didn’t trust it, so we quickly took our car out and went for a drive instead. We were just driving out when kamikaze micro bus drivers raced through red lights, almost crashing into our car, leaving us in stinky bus fumes. The final drop was seeing the people in the streets, whith poverty in their faces … I had a negative kind of explosion in my heart. Chile is so rich, all this shouldn’t be, the emotion erupted in me like an angry volcano.
Jin and jang, black and white. I went from thrills to despair. My heart is behaving like a kid in a fair. I really need to tame it. At least while I need it to be our compass in this time of change, I mean we are still searching for our new home and getting ready to start a business.
A very funny Buddhist recommends to focus on your breath to tame the mind. Now, I need to tame the extreme emotional reactions of my heart. When your heart is louder than your mind, focusing on your breath has weird side effects. Truly, I’ve tried it. Focusing on my breath seems to intensify the power of my heart. I start to feel electricity flow through my body. I get into trance like states and everything around me, even my loved ones speaking to me feels like it’s coming from far, far away. I can’t disconnect like that from my family and I also need to be there to help achieve our dreams. So, I’ve been concentrating on all things dream-reality-making instead.
Our dream involves lemons, lot’s and lot’s of lemons. Life is so cool that way, when you take the first step towards something, life will help you along the way, have you noticed? It turns out my mum moved to San Francisco de Limache, a little town East from Valparaiso.
It’s quaint, calm and full of lemon farms among other stuff that they grow here. Tomatoes, cactus fruit, avocados, mandarines, oranges, … and lemons. My mum is even neighbor to a big lemon farm, which we were kindly given permission to enter, when we went searching for our daughter’s flown away mini-drone.
Limache has a rich brewing and bar history too. We found this picture taken in 1900.
Our dream is about creating drinks and in the last days, we have been busy looking at potential suppliers to source our needs. Lemons, bottles, caps, …
We have also been busy with concoctions…
It’s too early to share what exactly, because it all depends on whether or not we find a place to buy in the South that ticks most of our requirements.So, we have decided to leave Limache tomorrow.
Yes, we are finally heading South. Ready for our new and choice defining expedition. In search of our new home and place for the business. My mother wanted me to stay just a few more days to celebrate my birthday. Bless her cotton socks.
We are so eager to find a home, to get started with our business, to become who we almost are. There’s always going to be reasons to leave your dreams aside, for just a few more days, for just another reason.
Sorry mami, we are so close, the heart is leading and we are following, but don’t worry. We’ll be back soon.
Andrea Zavala x